Twins

Did I mention we're having twins this March? Two girls, so Cooper and I are officially outnumbered.

Halloween 2007: The Movie(s)

When Wives Attack

Notable phrases from last Saturday:

"Let me cut your hair. There's no reason to pay someone to do that"

"Whoops"

"When's your next available opening?"

"My wife thought she could cut my hair. She can't"

"Oh, we get that a lot. How would you like it today?"

"Why don't you start from this bald patch right here and even the rest out?"

Cooper Loves Them RIBS!!!!

By A Thread

The premise behind this podcast is either fun and enlightening or ill-executed and brain dead. You be the judge.

Above: The Invisible Men, courtesy of somebody who had this on some article on some website. Sorry, I don't remember any specifics. That's Karlis on the left. Man, don't they just look like they're on fire?

1. Einstürzende Neubauten "Yü Gung" This is where I create my listener: if you can make it through 7 minutes and 14 seconds of aggressive Deutsche industrielle Tanzmusik, you will be rewarded richly. Of course, you could just forward to 7:14, but where's the fun in that?
   
2. Pussy Galore "Yü Gung" Same song, totally different groove. Of all the music I listen to, Pussy Galore is hands-down my favorite. In addition to this I plan on posting two other covers in future podcasts, cuz they don't just cover a song, they own it! Pick up the Sugarshit Sharp reissue that features this song and their equally awesome cover of Devo's "Penetration of the Centerfold." The booklet also shows the song-sketch for the different sections of their "Yü Gung" version. Can you identify the "Link Wray" part or the "Kinks" part? Funny.
   
3. A Frames "Galena" Thus begins a chain of related Seattle bands I love. The relation to the prior song? Metal percussion, I suppose. Thin, I know. This comes of their latest LP, Black Forest, but I recommend virtually everything they've produced.
   
4. Bend Sinister "All Right" Vocalist/ guitarist Erin and bassist Min's pre-A Frames band. I ordered this from Erin's Dragnet Records, and the entire transaction was an absolute pleasure. He even tossed in another CD for free. What a guy! Thanks, Erin!
5. The Dipers "I Am So Spun" Also pre-A Frames, now with Erin and the A Frames' (former) drummer Lars here playing bass and singing. Lars the man behind my favorite local band:
6. The Intelligence "Boys Annoy" Most of the recorded Intelligence stuff is just Lars on his 8-track, but as of 2005 they've become a relatively stable line-up, including two members of another Seattle great, Popular Shapes, featured on this track from the Intelligence's recent eponymous EP.
   
7. Popular Shapes "Symmetrical Girl" A version of this tune can be found on Popular Shapes' sole LP Bikini Style, which is simply freakin' awesome. This one comes from a split single with the Intelligence.
8. Unnatural Helpers "Gettin' Classy" The Unnatural Helpers are a local super group of sorts, with Popular Shapes vocalist/ Intelligence guitarist Dean Whitmore on drums and vox here. Lars was also in an early line-up. This tune is short and sweet, from their self-titled debut LP, which you need.
   
9. Tractor Sex Fatality "Jungle Pam" Karlis, an old friend of mine, was one of many bass players in The Intelligence, and was the original Tractor Sex Fatality bassist. Dave Bessenhoffer now plays bass for TSF, but he and Karlis are also 1/2 of:
10. New Fangs "In The Blood" From Bayonets. Karlis and Dave were also 2/3 of:
11. The Blow Up "Dead Stars" From their debut Dead Stars single on Empty Records. I think you can still find their one and only full length, True Noise. It's a great album, and these guys are nothing short of incredible. As a former Vespa scooterist, half-assed mod, and friend of Karlis, I always wondered if the smashed up Lambretta on the cover and mod shots on the gatefold were directed towards me. How's that for ego?
    
12. The Invisible Men "Gamekeeper" Continuing our Karlis-fest, this Billy Childish cover comes from the Invisible Men's Hunt You Down 7" EP. Karlis is credited on the sleeve, but if I recall correctly it is actually ex-Fall-Out Shannon McConnell playing on this cut. Oh well.
13. Thee Headcoats "Young Blood" And thus we end this cycle with one of Mr. Childish's best known bands. This comes from the Headcoats Down LP, which I think is by far their best. Really, you can grab pretty much anything featuring Billy Childish and know exactly what you're gonna get, but at least it's almost consistently good. I like this song lots, especially the totally gratuitous carpet F-bombing.
    

Shot Through The Heart

I have a new podcast up, Shot Through The Heart, and I think you might like it. Why? Well, first off it's a reasonable length, clocking in under 45 minutes (album size!), and second off, I forced myself to not include any of the obnoxious crap that I favor. In fact, I even removed a track that was too noisy. Was I successful? You be the judge.

This podcast is bookended by one of my early favoritest (no, that's not real word) groups, Barnes & Barnes. Regrettably, B&B are known primarily for their song "Fish Heads," thus marginalizing them as a novelty band. And while most of their songs are rather puerile, it doesn't negate that they wrote good music and had an fantastic trippy sound. I only have their first two LPs, Voobaha and Spazchow, both represented on this album. BTW, don't buy Voobaha off of iTunes. It doesn't include "Fish Heads" (no loss) or their extraordinary spit-take of the Beatles' "Please Please Me," which is worth the full album alone. Fun fact: one of the Barnes is Billy Mumy, aka Will Robinson of Lost in Space and Anthony from that creepy-ass Twilight Zone episode.

1. Barnes & Barnes "Fletchy's Revenge" Off their second and darker LP, Spazchow. The voice is the other Barnes (not Mumy) and his ex from his answering machine. I love tape vocals, a la My Life In The Bush Of Ghosts. Note the "Yeah" at the conclusion. Their trademark was to find a way to say "Yeah" at the end of every song they recorded.
   
2. The Chameleons "Don't Fall" Proving that big, ostentatious passion rock doesn't have to be self-righteous and overblown. First track off the debut album by the Chameleons, who were, by way, way better than U2.
   
3. U2 "Celebration" That said, I was once a big U2 fan, but not so much these days. This was a post-October/pre-War single, back when Adam Clayton had a 'fro.
   
4. The Wedding Present "Loving You" The Weddoes do amazing covers, and this is no exception. I was curious to hear how they'd hit the original vocal's cascading high notes, and their solution was perfect. Off of a session of cover songs from the 50's, 60's, 70's, and 80's, including a non-Beatles Lennon-McCartney song and the Go-Go's "Our Lips Are Sealed." That last one will show up on a future podcast.
   
5. HollAnd "Mint Missiles" I'm pretty sure all this guy's stuff was recorded direct to the board on ProTools, but it sounds terrific.
   
6. Stephin Merritt "The Meaning of Lice" From the Plague Songs compilation. There's an Eno song, "Flies," on that I'd like to post, but the first two minutes are far too annoying.
   
7. The Fiery Furnaces "Benton Harbor Blues (Remix)" Speaking of annoying, the Fiery Furnaces are a great band that drive me nuts. They write excellent songs and make some crazy sounds, but then they cut up the recordings and paste them back together in what appears to be no discernible order. Intentionally. When I found that they'd done a song with an Optigan, I was excited, but once again they chopped it up with inexplicable starts and stops and it just wasn't podcastable. Except, in someones wisdom, they released a more radio-friendly version of the song, included here. Hooray!
   
8. TV On The Radio "Ambulance" The looped vocal backing hooks me on this beauty.
   
9. The Velvet Underground "Lisa Says" I'll admit, the only reason this song is here is it gave me an opportunity to lead it off with a recording I made of my wife, Lisa, extolling the virtues of her pants. "I don't have a calculator, but if you do the math..."
   
10. Electralane "The Valley" I'm not fond of this band, but including the amazing choir on this song was brilliant.
    
11. Low "Dinosaur Act" For some stupid reason I ignored Low for years, and for that I am nothing more than a fool. Good god they make some beautiful sounds. More bands should be this good. Coincidentally and for whatever it's worth, this and the track prior were both recorded by Steve Albini.
    
12. Barnes & Barnes "Linoleum" Obviously, a song with "Linoleum" as the title had to be included, but this is also my favorite B&B song. Goofy, trippy, and beautiful all at once. Those processed drums totally do it for me.
    

A Bad Call, Dear, Even Fiends Grin Hideously In Jest

Here's the tracklist for my latest podcast, "A Bad Call, Dear, Even Fiends Grin Hideously In Jest." It runs way longer than I would prefer, the ideal mix being less than 60 minutes, but it was necessary for the underlying conceit. Have fun!

1. A Certain Ratio "Thin Boys" Before they went all jungle funk, these shorts-sporting lads were a decent little Eno knock-off. Their first single in '79 featured this moody little number on the B side.
2. Big Black "Things To Do Today" Off the Heartbeat 7".
   
3. Crass "Beg Your Pardon"
4. The Dwarves "I'm In A Head" From the Toolin' For a Warm Teabag EP. Anything off that or Horror Stories is pure black magic.
5. The Ex "Stonestampers Song"
   
6. The Fitness "Chauffeur" Great Seattle synth-punk band that sadly released just one record, Call Me For Together. I must have a thing for songs about chauffeurs.
7. Gaza Strippers "Swan" Rick Sims' post-Didjits rawk band. These guys rule, and yet their records seem to be out of print. The "Woooo! Yeah!" on the chorus totally hooks me.
8. The Honeymoon Killers "Scootch Says" The Honeymoon Killers are one of a string of incestuous Manhattan sludgerock groups. Core member Jerry Teel has also been in Honeymoon Killers-alumni Christina's Boss Hog, as well as the Chrome Cranks which featured ex-Sonic Youth drummer Bob Bert, who used to play drums in Jon Spencer's Pussy Galore, which also at one time included Christina, who is married to Spencer who is the other core member of Boss Hog. The track here features Spencer on guitar and drummer Russell Simins. When I saw the Honeymoon Killers, Jon had been replaced with guitarist Judah Bauer. Now Judah, Russell, and Jon are the Blues Explosion. Ya got that?
9. The Intelligence "Dating Cops" Have I mention that the Intelligence are one of the greatest bands ever? Well, they are, and until these guys stop ruling my world, I'm gonna take every opportunity to play their gospel for ya. This is off a split 7" with the Coachwhips.
   
10. Jack O' Fire "Joe McCarthy's Ghost " Rumor has it that blues-punk vet Tim Kerr wanted to play Garage Shock, a NW garage band festival sponsored by Estrus records, so he pulled together a bunch of buddies to do blues covers of old R&B and punk standards. The gimmick worked and Jack O' Fire went on to produce a mess o' wax. I saw their last show at a Blackout records in Chicago. The singer had a tiny amp propped up on a chair and would move seamlessly between his harp, moans, and microphone feedback. The results were insanely cool. This is a Minutemen cover.
11. Killdozer "Nasty" Of the many, many Killdozer covers, this one featuring a full electronic backing track behind a word-for-word reenactment of Janet's original. Priceless moment: hearing that Cookie Monster voice growl, "Miss Jackson if you're nasty."
12. Lyres "How Do You Know?" The old vibrato-saturated Lyres were the best. This is the original version of this tune, which isn't quite as awesome as the version on Lyres Lyres.
13. The Mummies "A Girl Like You" The undead kings of the early 90's lo-fi garage craze, these guys actually performed in full mummy regalia and rocked their fool heads (and bandages) off. Look 'em up on YouTube to see some of their insane live performances. This is off their Shitsville EP.
14. Naz Nomad & The Nightmares " Kicks" Off the soundtrack for a fictitious 60's psych-beat film, Give Daddy The Knife Cindy. Naz and company were really the Damned playing mainly covers like this Paul Revere & The Raiders hit. Dave Vanian is one cool cat vocalist.
15. Oblivians "Bad Man" I saw the Oblivians open for Jack O' Fire. They either lost or forgot their gear and used the JO'F's instruments. Another bass-less band, these guys would take turns drumming, singing, or playing guitar on each song, depending on who had the lead vocals.
16. Prefab Sprout "Farron" I haven't heard anything else by Prefab Sprout like this song, as in, this song is good and nothing else I've heard by Prefab Sprout is. A one-hit wonder in their own catalog.
17. ? & The Mysterions "96 Tears" These garage legends reformed in the late 90's and toured promoting a new album of material. I saw them live, and was horrified by the no-longer-young-at-all lead singer trotting around in his yellow lame' shirt unbuttoned to the navel with a blue bandana and a black cowboy hat. It was like he'd mugged a flag squad and hijacked the stage with a Holiday Inn lounge band. Awful, just awful.
18. Rancid Hell Spawn "Festering Pus" Casio, fuzz box, four-track recorder. Go.
19. Savage Republic "Next To Nothing" From Tragic Figures. When I first heard this I was a young, angst-ridden aspiring artist, and the words spoke to me.
    
20. Teengenerate "Kicked Out of the Webelos" Japanese garage/ noise terrorists, these guys came from a wave of other garage bands like Guitar Wolf and Jackie & The Cedrics.
21. Union Carbide Productions "Ring My Bell"
22. Volcano Suns "Jak" Drummer Peter Prescott's post-Mission Of Burma band, off their hard-to-find first album.
    
23. The Waterboys "A Pagan Place" More overwrought 80's music. I think I was turned on to these guys by a list of Bono's top 10 albums of 1982. They put out two pompous but decent LPs, then took a Celtic-flavored nosedive. One of the guys left and formed World Party, which is illustrative of the turn for suck they took.
    
24. X "I Don't Wanna Go Out" Not the famous X of L.A., this X hails from Australia. Off of their fabulous Aspirations LP.
25. Young Fresh Fellows "Power Mowers Theme" The YFF are NW fixtures and the starting point for Seattle celebrity Scott McCaughey. They were too goofy for me to love them, but their drummer Tad (not to be confused with the SubPop meatrock leviathan/band Tad), with his strangely low drum set (or oddly high throne, I dunno which), machine gun drum rolls, and this beat up pot suspended about four feet over his head, always made the show for me.
    
26. The Zeros "Wimp" The Zeros rerecorded and punched up most of their catalog, but the original slogged along with such indifference it can't be beat.

Hi, how ya doin'?

I guess it takes getting mentioned in someone's blog (which, by the way, is a first for me and I'm all atwitter) to motivate me to update my own.

This Sunday, Lisa, Cooper and I walked around Green Lake with Mona, Mike, and their son Nathan. Lisa met Mona through their mother's group. I met them before at a party thrown by one of the other group moms (Nathan was decked out in a sports coat, which on an infant is totally cute), but I really didn't have a chance to do more than exchange pleasantries. So yesterday was sort of the "official" first time out with them

I'm awkward when it comes to meeting people. I figure its an only child thing. I'm known to joke that it's because I dislike people, but in reality it's more likely that I'm afraid people will dislike me. As a result of this terminal neurosis, I find myself constantly evaluating my performance when going out with others for the first time.

Mona and Mike are both intelligent, friendly, and funny people. In fact, I know a lot about them (as a voyeur) from reading Mona's fantastic blog, hello insomnia. But when we hooked up yesterday I found myself critiquing pauses in the conversation (is it the lovely scenery preoccupying our thoughts, or am I so boring that I can contribute nothing to this discussion?), and discovered that I say, "that's awesome" waaaay too damn much. In fact, I hate that expression as much as the term "dude," both of which I started using ironically, but now have become regular parts of my vocabulary. I imagine I come off like as an old man trying to be hip and cool like the kids, twenty years ago. I'm also quite sure I said at least one thing that sounded insensitive or insulting, for which I'm sorry.

Freakish paranoia aside, I had a really good time and hope that we'll be able to connect again in a setting less distracting than a crowded lakeside trail. It's hard to negotiate two strollers and a conversation with four people when without walking into oncoming traffic or wandering into the bike lane and having a passive/ agressive jackass cyclist tell us to move over as he zips by. Those are the people, joking aside, that I actually, truly dislike.

I Love Having Birthdays

Here's more info on the tracks found in my latest podcast, I Love Having Birthdays, a mix done for me this February by my incredible friend Jim.

1. The Johnny Depth "I Love Having Birthdays" Who doesn't love having birthdays? Not this guy. This is one of my favorite songs that Jim's ever recorded. He's got the built-in lo-fi from his four-track working for him on this, even though the vocals are a little squished. Then there's the rap/ skat in the middle section. And the iPod reference, just like in one of my first posts. Jim's got a dark side, and when it comes out in a song like this, it's pure gold.
2. Lady Sovereign "Love Me Or Hate Me" Oddly, this version has the "fuck you" censored. What the?
3. The White Stripes "Walking With a Ghost" I sit on the fence with the White Stripes. Jack White is clearly a brilliant performer and musician, both technically and technologically (I love the use of his pitch shifting whammy pedal). But as much as I dig me my messed-up, no bass, lo-fi bluesy garage noise bands (see: The Gories, Pussy Galore), I think what really ruins the WS for me is Meg White's GODAWFUL WEAKASS DRUMMING. I will post a track off an Upholsterers single soon, which finds Jack in the familiar two-person line-up, but this time with a real drummer. It freaking rocks. And no, I have not listened to the Raconteurs yet, nor am I particlurly interested.
4. The Coup "We Are The Ones" This track totally sounds like a cross between Vanilla Ice and AC/DC's "Big Balls," doesn't it?
5. Le Tigre - "Mediocrity Rules" Le Tigre kicks so much ass. Kathleen Hannah has got the best female punk rock vocals in the biz, hands down. No one else can anyone scream in perfect pitch like her (not, however, showcased in this song). This tune's off Le Tigre's first, damn near perfect, album. Unfortunately, I really don't care for their last effort, but I keep out hope for the next.
6. Gustavo Santaolalla "The Wings" From, I believe, Brokeback Mountain. Jim didn't tell me how this fits in to the mix, nor did I ask.
7. Low "Pissing" Low was one of those bands I heard lots about and never got around to, despite the fact that even Steve Albini recorded them once. Then I heard their Optigan-backed track off of their Christmas EP on my buddy Scott's podcast, and realized these guys rule. This song is no exception. Beautiful harmonies + meloncholic melody + dramatic build-up + lush guitar feedback = great music in my book.
8. Nina Simone "How I Feel" I vaguely remember Simone's cover of Screamin' Jay Hawkins' "I Put A Spell On You." I remember it being pretty good, although, really, how can you top the original? I mean, that song is just INSANE. I one of the few who believe that CCR's version of that song was patently wretched, even though Fogerty really screamed that sucker out.
9. Noonday Underground "Put You Back Together" Hm, driving 60's style beat, Peter Gunn guitar, and four octace Nancy Sinatra-esque vocals? OK, I'm in. I understand these guys are club darlings. I'll have to investigate further.
10. The Paragons "The Tide Is High" The original, although I'm sure you're much more familiar with that very famous version by, who else, Atomic Kitten. Some other band had a hit with this too.
11. Copycat "Fade To Pretty Vacant" As a freshman in college I was convinced that the Sex Pistols had the same impact on contemporary music as The Beatles. While there is some merit to the argument, I've since revised most of those opinions. I like the tasteful use in this song of Steve Jones' guitar riff and Lydon's original chorus. I also enjoy the perverse marriage of Mr. Rotten and cheezy 80's glamsynthpop. But that's the whole point, innit?
12. Tegan & Sarah "Walking With A Ghost" I assume the only reason for this song from the White Stripes catalog earlier and the inclusion of Tegan & Sarah at all was for the nice bookending of this mix.
13. Unknown "Love Me On The Wild Side" And again with tasteful bookending. Well played, Jim. I'm not familiar enough with 80's buttrock to know for certain, but the original "Wild Side" was Motley Crue, correct? Fortunately, this version of Lady Sovereign's song includes the all important F word. As foretold by the prophesy. I don't know what that means.

(Gonna Have A) Happy Birthday

Check out my latest podcast, (Gonna Have A) Happy Birthday. These are the tracks off of the birthday CD Jim, aka The Johnny Depth, gave me in 2006. 'Nuff said.

1. The Johnny Depth "(Gonna Have A) Happy Birthday" One of probably a dozen of great birthday songs from Jim. From 2006, this mentions Lisa and our bun in the oven, our not yet introduced to the world son, Cooper. Jim also references our former band, The Bad Days, of which I plan on posting a mix of our demo recordings. I'd point you to our website, but that's long since gone. Remember, the lo-fi sound quality of the song adds to the ambiance.
2. The Go! Team "The Power Is On" I wish these guys would come out with a new album. They satisfy so many of my needs: solid beats, lo-fi/ retro sampling, and girls singing double-dutch songs.
   
3. Chow Nasty "Ungawa" I was shocked to discover that this is a) by a contemporary group, and b) the singer is a white dude. I honestly thought this was some old off-the-track R&B nugget, like from the "Savage Kick" comps, and I not so secretly still wish it was. Bitchin' song.
   
4. JJ Barnes "Chains Of Love" For a rockin' good take on this, check out The Dirtbombs' godhead soul song cover album, Ultraglide In Black.
   
5. Jon Auer "Gold Star For Robot Boy" Nice cover of a Guided by Voices song, off of arguably one of GbV's most accessible, if not best, albums, Bee Thousand.
   
6. Enon "Shave" This is what Jim's songs would sound like if he access to a well-equipped studio and session musicians.
   
7. Little Milton "Lovin Stick" Jim listens to a lot of good soul and R&B. I have concluded, besides talent, this is why he is such a good vocalist.
   
8. Marco & Rita "Golden Years" Mom? Dad?
   
9. Dick Rivers "Things We Said" Yeah, Dick Rivers. That's not his given name. Foreign versions of pop songs like this remind me of this terrible compilation I heard of Mexican garage bands from the 60's doing "Mother's Little Helper" and covers of other hits of the day. The best track was one that was sung in English, but the accent was so impenetrable that you would have never know it unless you were told.
   
10. Arctic Monkeys "Cigarette Smoke" There's a category for bands like these guys and, say, Franz Ferdinand, where I think they're decent enough groups, and have absolutely no interest in ever listening to them. Weird. This is a nice song, though.
    
11. The Monkees "No Time" Regardless if they played their instruments or not, The Monkees had a halfway decent catalog of songs, but that goddamn show of theirs overshadows any of that. Like "Porpoise Song." That's a nice trippy slice o' psyche.
    
12. Mark Lanegan "Clear Spot" Jim and I both went to Central Washington University in Ellensburg, WA, home of The Screaming Trees. At the time, they had just released their first LP, Clairvoyance, produced by one of my oft-mentioned idols, Steve Fisk, who was also local at the time, working out of his Velvetone Studios. Steve invited me over once to see the studio and played me a bunch of source material from his masterpiece, 448 Deathless Days. I was ga-ga like a little girl at her sweet sixteen. Anyway, our good friend Jena, (who was also The Bad Days first drummer) and Mark, singer for the Screaming Trees, were very much in love at the time. She's even mentioned by name in one song, and is in the thanks yous for at least the first three albums. Jim was always a big fan of the Screaming Trees and of Mark's solo work. You can't tell on this song so much, but Mark has one great damn voice.
    
13. The Catheters "Pale Horse" These guys played once under the name "The Cat Heaters." That is funny.
    
14. The Raspberries "Overnight Sensation" Is it my imagination, or does this remind you of Journey playing a Beach Boys song too?

Happy Days

Now I understand what's been going on over the couple months. I've been taking the bitter pill in the morning. No wonder they were so hard to swallow!

I'm turning over a new leaf, so to speak. I'm focusing more on the positive in my day to day and overall it seems to be working. My new attitude definitely has something to do with getting over the hump of recent tech tribulations. It's also why I've had the sudden spurt of blogging. (I was going to be all clever and say "blogasm," but then I Googled it and discovered I'm not the first kid on the block to think that one up. Rats.) Getting a podcast out finally was great fun, and more are coming. I mixed one down last night, in fact. Now I just gotta post it.

On the topic of goodness, have I mentioned my new library yet? Yes, as a Seattle denizen I consider the library to be mine, in part, and I'm doggone proud of the one I call home now. Well, home library that is. You know what I mean. I'm not living in the library. Anyway...

I used to frequent the King County Library nearest my house, but recently Seattle residents were prohibited from placing holds at KC libraries. Happily, the Seattle Public Library just reopened a branch a mile away from home. Up until this month I had never used the SPL, but I gotta tell you, as libraries go, it rules. My biggest fave is that it's totally self-serve. You pick your own holds off the Holds Shelf and check yourself out. You don't even have to scan what you're checking out, you just pile them up on a reader pad and the computer tells you what you got. RFID chips! It's like magic, and totally caters to my anthropophobia.

The upside/ downside of this for me is that opening a user-friendly and convenient library with a good selection of CDs and DVDs is like putting a free heroin bar smack dab in the middle of Junkietown. I've been copying listening to such a quantity of new music that I'm going to run out of room on my iPod money legally purchasing the albums I enjoyed. Dangerous, dangerous stuff.

BTW, don't think that this means I'll be any less cranky. I'll just be more cheerful about it.

Totally Without Feck

As promised, here's a brand spankin' new podcast of not brand spankin' new music, Totally Without Feck. I've been itching to post one for some time but, well, I'm not going to get into it.

I mixed this baby on Audacity, which was really my first time using that application for a soup-to-nuts mix. I used to use the now crippled Roxio Creator Classic for my transitions, then make a disc image and convert it to mp3 with Audacity, but this was actually way easier in the long haul. I had better control over the tracks and could edit them down as needed. As I get my chops down I'll start adding some effects and dialogue and such, like my ol' mix tapes, but with less hiss.

UPDATE: I had done a preliminary mix of this the other day and thought that I had messed up the levels, so I zeroed them all out and now the mix is really choppy, volume wise, particularly after that damned Hospitals song, which is apparently 10x louder than the Joy Division track that follows. I may remix and repost, time and family permitting. Sorry 'bout that.

Like I said yesterday, I got to more in queue for ya, so c'mon back, y'hear?

Here is the track list and useless commentary. Please, enjoy!

1. Throbbing Gristle "Hot On The Heels Of Love" Off the accessible Throbbing Gristle album, 20 Jazz Funk Greats. I don't know why nor do I really care, but this track imported as mono. It shouldn't be, but there ya have it. Go buy the record if you want your fancy "stereo separation," you elitist snob. Anyway, in mono it sounds like an unreleased Kraftwerk demo.
2. Killing Joke "Wardance" I love bands that can be this bombastic without irony and make it work, as opposed to astonishingly stupid bands like The Alarm. First two Killing Joke albums: priceless.
3. The Hospitals "Rock and Roll Is Killing My Life" Sadly, this Suicide cover is the best song off The Hospital's first noisefest. I trimmed a lot of crap off the start and end. You're welcome.
4. Joy Division "Warsaw" This version is much more rockin' than the one that appeared on JD's first release, An Ideal For Living. Not that Joy Division couldn't rock (see "Interzone" for example), but they make this song swing!
5. Tom Waits "Heigh Ho" My obligatory Optigan inclusion and a nod to my friend Scott's podcast, Fraidy Hole, which doesn't seem to be downloadable any more. Whassup, Scott?which, quothe Scott, "is still available here: http://files-upload.com/137140/FraidyHole.mp3.html." So go out and listen up.
6. Future Bible Heroes "Mr. Punch" From the (inexplicable) tribute album to comic book writer Neil Gaiman, Where's Neil When You Need Him? I'm ashamed to say I have yet to read a Sandman comic. Yet another Stephin Merrit "band."
7. The Magnetic Fields "Take Ecstasy With Me" Speaking of Merritt, this is an alternative version of this tune with former lead vocalist Susan Anyway and drums lifted right from 69 Love Songs' "I'm Sorry I Love You." Neat.
8. Klark Kent "Office Girls" I have a soft spot for typewriter solos. KK was Police drummer Stewart Copeland's cheeky solo alter ego. These are rumored to be rejected songs he wrote for the Police. While I love the fact he plays all the instruments, the Klark Kent stuff was ultimately not nearly as good as Copeland's perfect soundtrack for Rumble Fish. Then he began a lucratice career of making crap (i.e. soundtrack for TV tragedy The Equalizer).
9. Thee Headcoats "Help" Again with the covers, but this one is pretty unique. Hilarious and virtually unlistenable. Too bad you can't skip to the next track.
10. Metric "Wet Blanket" I assume Metric gets compared to Elastica in the press. That would be unfair as they have better songs and don't make obvious thefts from Wire, The Stranglers, and every other English post-punk band.
11. Blondie "Once I Had A Love (aka The Disco Song)" aka "Heart of Glass." I still prefer the drum machine and synthesizer hit we all know and love, but this has its own special charm.
12. Public Image Ltd. "Blue Water" Off the banished Keith Levene's unauthorized pressing of The Commercial Zone, which would eventually be re-recorded as This Is What You Want…, heralding PiL's rapid descent into mediocrity. I probably like this because it reminds me of "Careering,"my fave PiL song.
13. Cabaret Voltaire "Silent Command" Karl Stockhausen and Lee "Scratch" Perry's illegitimate love child.
14. Portishead "All Mine" You like John Barry? I LOVE John Barry!
15. Au Revoir Simone "Through The Backyards" Sweet pop songs from a trio of Casio-lovin' gals. The verse melody is totally lifted from Eno's "St. Elmo's Fire."
16. The Evens "All These Governors" Customary Ian MacKaye sighting. I probably picked this because it's the most Fugazi-ish song on the album.
17. Vangelis "Tears In Rain" From one of my top 10 movies.
18. Pixies "Into The White" - The Pixies apparently used this frequently as their closer. Total cop-out on my part but I don't care. It's a rockin' outro.

May The Force Be With You. Now Go.

I finally watched George Lucas' first feature film, THX 1138. I was surprised to find that it was actually good. I expected it to be a dull student art film, and while it was pretty cerebral (read: exposition heavy), I found it to be well paced and interesting. He even threw in a car chase at the end. Really.

The copy I saw was the recent reissue of the film, so of course George couldn't keep his mitts off the "Digitally Enhance" button. There was still that washed-out 70's film stock look, but the cityscapes had been beefed up (or so I assume) and he clearly enhanced or outright added a few critters and characters near the film's finale. No Jar Jar Binks, but I think a new monkey man or two may have been thrown in.

Speaking of Star Wars, I loaned a friend my copy of Revenge of the Sith and the animated Clone Wars series DVDs. We both agreed that the Clone Wars were the best of the batch since the original trilogy. But in George's defense, other than the acting, dialogue, direction, characters, and plot, the prequels were solid gold.

Seriously, Feel My Rock

Due to my seemingly endless string of technological roadblocks (latest target: Roxio, who decided to remove the basic features I used to enjoy on their previous releases with their new, "improved" Creator 9 software. WTF's up with that, Roxi?), I have not been able to post any podcasts recently. Well, I've finally leapt that last hurdle and will be posting three (count 'em, three!) podcasts soon. There is one new original mix and two really stellar birthday mixes from this year and last by my dear friend Jim. The fun thing about these mixes is the lead tracks on each mix are birthday songs addressed to me by The Johnny Depth, Jim's nom de home recording (mine being Linoleum Blownapart, and occasionally Nick Scrape). They're great, and I'm sure you'll like them.

I should have the next podcast up tomorrow. Stay tuned!

Home Security?

Awhile ago Lisa entered some give-away and was informed last week that we won a free home security system. A specialist would come out and talk to us about the program. Now, I've always felt safe at this house, mainly because it's a nice neighborhood populated largely by retirees, so there is a sort of built-in homewatch. But, I felt safe at our last house too, and it was located next to a meth lab. After the second drive-by shooting, we decided it was time to pull up stakes and get the hell out. But that is a whole other tale.

So, Saturday a very pleasant English expat named Alex shows up at our door at the appointed time. He was the sort of guy I wish I was. Intelligent, humorous, well-traveled, and congenial as all get out. We spent an hour chatting about painting, real estate, his past careers and travels, and our upcoming trip to England. I'm not the most loquacious soul, so I eventually grew weary of the chit-chat and steered the conversation to their system.

As we discussed security, break-ins, and the common burglar, it dawned on me that I had not verified this guy's identity. Out of the blue comes a call about a prize we won in a contest we didn't remember, and next there's this guy in our home telling tales about his former career in commercial real estate. Why is this man, who looks like he is of retirement age, pushing home security systems? I realize I have no way to gracefully validate if this he is who he claims to be, or if he even works for this security firm of which I have never heard. And here we've talked about the weak spots in our house, an upcoming trip out of the country, where I work and what we do, and my paranoia meter spikes to 10.

As it turns out, it's highly unlikely this fellow was an aged Danny Ocean. I asked all the questions I needed to understand the program fully and soon he was out the door. As Lisa and I debriefed afterward and I informed her of my neurotic concerns, I noticed he'd left his cell phone behind (which, I'll admit, I checked to make sure it wasn't on and listening). He was long gone and called later to see if he could come pick it up the next day. Between this event and my delusions of an electronic conspiracy, I'm feeling just a little foolish. But I'll remember to be a little more cautious next time. Just in case.

Oh, and if you're an online prowler, we have a security system. Every door and window has a trip sensor on it, the perimeter of our property is armed with motion sensors, and we have heat-seeking automated machine guns that will open fire in five seconds if you can't provide the proper voice identification and passcode. So don't screw with us and our sole electronic possession, a 13" 1980 Magnavox TV. With three channels. And no remote.

In a former life, I must have killed a radio

Technology hates me. I used to say I emit an electromagnetic pulse that spontaneously disables appliances, watches, lawnmowers, whatever, and I really wasn't kidding. Something, something, makes my interaction with technology just that much more complex than the average person's experience. I don't know why. Maybe it's karma. Maybe I'm just a technology klutz. Maybe I really do emit an EMP.

Let's put aside the ongoing computer saga that multiple Dell and Microsoft technicians have failed to correct. (Call me crazy, but if a network works, shouldn't I be able to modify shared files on my desktop via my laptop? Call me wacky, but shouldn't a working computer let me add new music to my iTunes library?) Last night our bed was possessed. Again.

What does a bed and technology have to do with each other, you ask? Well, I have a cranky back and our old mattress' springs were so shot that we'd tumble into the center of it at night, resulting in crippling back spasms. So we invested in one of those adjustable Sleep Number air beds with a wireless remote that controls the settings. Not too long ago we noticed that my normally firm side of the bed and Lisa's normally soft side of the bed were ranging from rock hard to marshmallow fluffy, and discovered that the pump was autonomously turning itself off and on. We exchanged the pump and have had a perfectly working bed since, until recently. Last night I was woke to the sound of the pump filling up the bed, then deflating it, then pumping it back up again. Over and over. I groggily fumbled for the pump's power cord and thought I had disconnected it, but within minutes it stared up again. I gave up and resigned myself to the bed's whims.

This is either a complete coincidence or a direct result of the new wireless home network I've set up. Can a wireless router activate a wireless air pump? I don't know. But I've got a sneaking suspicion this isn't just cause and effect. No. My computer and my bed are conspiring together. Our microwave also just recently died, and we're having a new one installed next week. Another coincidence? I think not. Now they have a weapon.

We Have Ignition

I have finally conquered my home network. And by conquered, I mean I watched a very nice Dell technician in Arizona conquer it remotely on my PC and laptop. My role was strictly to help run the little application that allowed him to access the desktops. Otherwise, I basically watched the cursors run across the screens, controlled by some unseen magic.

I do feel somewhat vindicated from my previous post's PEBKAC reference. While in fact the way I connected the various boxes from my modem to my computer may have caused some geekage, the steps required to get my computers to relax and share was definitely a system thing, not me.

Vista is still not off the hook in my book. It seems pretty clear to me that it was Vista's promise that using their little network wizard would easily connect your machines, but judging by the two or three additional layers of security that had to be modified (not to mention found), that wizard needs some work.

For me, that's strike two for Vista and its wizards. Looks like it may be time to go back to whatever Microsoft/ Hogwarts Remedial School they have to bone up on their spells. Now, let's see if I can get Outlook to work.

The Good, The Bad

Nothing gets me motivated to lose weight and control my cholesterol like the words "Heart Attack and Stroke Prevention Clinic." Since my cardiologist referred me to said clinic, I’ve worked out for an hour each morning and reduced my general garbage intake.

I received some great news at yesterday' HASP Clinic follow up. Without getting too technical, I am successfully kicking my cholesterol's ass. The big numbers I'm watching are Total Cholesterol, HDL (good cholesterol) and LDL (bad cholesterol). I started this process with a Total/ HDL/ LDL lineup of 254/ 36/ 179. I should be at <200/>40/ <160 to be called healthy, so I was clearly out of whack. Especially compared to the latest results: 159/ 35/ 103. I'm rocking the bad cholesterol, but still need to get that good cholesterol up, meaning more nuts, fish, and olives. Darn, that'll be tough. The other perk is I've dropped about 25 pounds since this started, which means I need new clothes. Again, darn.

However, this morning did not include my usual workout. Why? I needed an extra hour of sleep after the marathon Dell tech support session ended at 1:30. And my computer network is still not fixed. I gotta cut Windows Vista some slack, though. After an exhaustive session of troubleshooting (following a couple hours of just trying to speak to someone knowledgeable, but we don't need to talk about that), we finally realized that I had my VoIP box installed in the wrong place on the modem/ router/ computer chain. Suffice to say, that confused the network gremlins, hence my problems. So, the different computers now acknowledge each other on the network, but they won't share. I've got another session scheduled for tonight, one that will hopefully end before Thursday. If this works, I might even start singing Vista's praises. Right now though, this is what the tech support world calls PEBKAC: Problem Exists Between Keyboard and Chair.

Guinness Marmite Ltd. Ed.

Speaking of Vegemite, this sounds yummy.

We're going to England in a few months, and I've got to say, I think having an authentic, unpasteurized Guinness is going to be one of the highlights for me.

Taste Sensations

Three supposedly horrible combinations that taste great together:

1. Olive loaf (toasted, preferably) and Vegemite
2. Wendy's Chocolate Frosty and a bunch of crushed up Saltines from the condiment bar (thanks, PDA, for turning me on to this one!)
3. Peanut butter and mayonnaise (thanks, Dad)
   

Analog/ Digital

Did I mention it was my birthday last Sunday? This is the last year of my third decade. Lisa got me a new USB turntable, which is one reason I'm so very eager to get my new computer system working.

Most of my music collection resides in a wall of LPs, unplayed in recent years. Currently 90% of my music listening is done at work off an iPod. After getting an iPod my 6:1 purchase ratio of vinyl to CD/ mp3 reversed, but I still adore records. They sound better and the big format affords packaging possibilities unmatched by inherently trinket-y CDs. But, digital is undeniably more convenient than analog, thus the success of the portable digital media player and the pending demise the CD.

So I'm excited about the new turntable as it is designed for digitizing records direct to computer. I did this occasionally before with my 20-year old turntable, but that was kludgy and that thing just didn't play well anymore. I've been reliving much of my collection through other means, but now I'll be able to revive my favorite out-of-print records, singles and cassettes.

However, with my recent negative Vista experiences, I think this all goes to illustrate the fetish with new tech and how easily we'll fall for the next new pretty, regardless of the sacrifice. I'm a first-run Vista user not by choice, but by timing, and I'm inclined to go back to XP just because I know it works and how to use it. With music I have sacrificed fidelity and packaging for convenience and price. And remember, the mp3, with DRM and an increasingly competitive, non-collaborative media industry, has no more immortality than the 8-Track tape.

Speaking of failure, I spent three hours on the phone with tech support attempting to unfreeze the inaccurately named Windows Easy Transfer I was running from my old computer to the new. Dell, the manufacturer, gamely tried to help me but didn't have enough information. I called Microsoft. They were under the misapprehension that I should pay for their support, but I clarified that the failure of their new product to live up to its name was not the responsibility of Dell or me, so they comped my call and transferred me to a tech that fought tooth and nail to help save the transfer. Ultimately we could not and I have ended up using an external hard drive for the job. (The tech, by the way, admitted that was the best way, but since this was Microsoft’s new thing, he wasn’t allowed to make that suggestion unless I asked first. Nice.) You know what’s ironic? I got that hard drive initially for this purpose, but after I learned of Windows Easy Transfer, I went that route. Why? Well, hey, it's says it’s going to be Easy, right?

The Devil Wears Eyeglasses

Today is Valentine's Day, and I'll tell you what, I am not feeling the love. That's not to say I'm not getting love from my beautiful wife and darling baby boy. No, I got that. I'm not feeling the love from Bill Gates. As of this posting, it is my personal opinion that Vista sucks. Let me explain.

This month I upgraded all my home computing tech, thus it all came with Vista installed. I figure this is great, because I was led to believe that Vista would make your computing experience easier and more intuitive. If "doesn't work" is how you would define easy and intuitive, then Microsoft has succeeded. I admit I am only moderately tech savvy, so if you are savvier then you may see my errors as I proceed. But, for now, I prefer to blame the software.

One of Vista's new features is Windows Easy Transfer, which allows you to move all your settings and folders from your old computer to the new computer. In fact, there's an Easy Transfer cable you can purchase to do this. Hooray, I think. This means I won't have to spend an estimated 15+ hours copying my scads of music and photo data with my 8x DVD burner. This will rule.

On the outset it all looks very easy. Simple USB cable. Easy Transfer Wizard right there on Vista. A disk to download the Easy Transfer Wizard on my old XP computer. Easy. Intuitive. And for the most part I had the transfer initiated in minutes. This is great. Then it went to hell.

I have a lot of music and photos, so the transfer takes a long time. I check in periodically, and as the evening wears on I'm about 3/4 of the way through. Then I it doesn't seem to be actively moving anything, and there's a not-to-auspicious icon of a crossed-out USB connector in the corner. Sure enough, the Wizard shows that one of the files is being used (I don't buy this), and it has to stop the transfer. There are no other available options, so as I close out the Wizard promptly asks me if I really want to stop the transfer. Well, you haven't given me any other options here, have you? I click "No" and go back and check if I missed anything, but it still says I'm SOL. So I close the Wizard.

Now, the Easy Transfer Wizard's messages gave me the distinct impression that none of my files transferred and I was going to have to start from ground zero. Fine, I think, I'll just start over and hope for the best. Maybe what transferred over is in some sort of Files and Settings Limbo, waiting to be freed into the new Vista Paradise by the rest of their un-transferred brethren. I start the transfer again and I'm given the option of resuming a transfer in process. Excellent, I think, I can pick up where I left off. Then it asks me for a key provided by the old computer. There is no key. I've seen nothing from either computer in the way of a key. Great. I start the whole thing over again and go to bed.

Miraculously, the next morning the transfer is complete. This is awesome. As I try to figure out where all the data went (Vista Windows Explorer's layout is, at least at this point, very unfamiliar) I start to notice something very bad. That 3/4 of data I thought hadn't made it over to the new computer had. Even better, the Easy Transfer Wizard didn't write over the matching files during the second transfer, but instead attached a "(1)" to the end of the file names and made another copy. I have lots of music and photo files. Now I have twice as much.

Vista also features System Restore, so I figured this could be my salvation. Restore my system and start from scratch. Not so much. It sort of resets your system, except for any data or settings you transferred. Fat lot of good that does me (and, as it turns out, it bombed anyway for some reason I have chosen to block from my memory). There's no way in hell I'm going to go though and manually delete all the dups, so I decide to delete as much of the data transferred I can find and do it again. Which I do. And the wizard chokes again at about 3/4 complete. This is where the swearing really starts.

The Easy Transfer Wizard is neither easy, nor does it really transfer well, and I've concluded that it is one of those evil Wizards, like Saruman, who you go to for help and he turns on you and leaves you stranded on the roof of his tower. You know the type. At this point I figure I'll just cut my losses, figure out what data didn't transfer, network my computers and transfer the rest that way.

To be fair, I have networked my computers successfully, at least in terms of getting them access to the Internet. (Well, one computer is convinced that the connection is not secure, which it is. I think.) But when I look at my network, it (Vista, my computer, whatever) doesn't show the other computers connected, which naturally means I can't go to those other files and transfer them, and at this point I have given up, for now. I've been away from my email and Quicken for too long, so I go to set them up instead. Hey, guess what else doesn't load successfully in Vista?

On top of it all, I've got a cold. Bleh!

Cutest...Baby... Ever

Seriously. I dare you to tell me otherwise.

Perfect Albums

There are some albums that are perfect. The whole thing and each song is well written, dynamic, interesting, consistently holds my attention and frequently draws me back. A perfect album. I started thinking about some of the records I consider perfect and made a quick list, alphabetized by artist.

• The Beatles - Abbey Road
• Big Black - Songs About Fucking
• The Blow Up - True Noise
• Brian Eno - Taking Tiger Mountain (By Strategy)
• Brian Eno and David Byrne - My Life In The Bush Of Ghosts
• Cabaret Voltaire - Voice Of America
• The Damned - Damned Damned Damned
• David Bowie - Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps)
• The Dwarves - Horror Stories
• The English Beat - I Just Can't Stop It
• The Fall - This Nation's Saving Grace
• The Intelligence - Boredom and Terror
• The Jam - Sound Affects
• Joy Division - Unknown Pleasures
• Mocket - Pro Forma
• The Modern Lovers - The Modern Lovers
• New Order - Movement
• Optiganally Yours - Exclusively Talentmaker
• P.i.L. - Metal Box
• Pussy Galore - Dial "M" For Motherfucker
• Quasi - Featuring "Birds"
• Robyn Hitchcock - I Often Dream Of Trains
• Scratch Acid - Scratch Acid
• Sonic Youth - EVOL
• Steve Fisk - 448 Deathless Days
• The Stranglers - La Folie
• Talking Heads - Fear Of Music
• The Velvet Underground - The Velvet Underground & Nico
• The Wedding Present - Hit Parade I
• The Wipers - Over The Edge
• Wire - Pink Flag
• XTC - Black Sea

Some of these artists have other albums are may be arguably better, and there are many other albums that could also be on the list. One may question why I didn’t choose Big Black’s Atomizer, or Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust, and those would be legit questions. How about you? Are there any albums you consider perfect, and what are they?

And Over Again

Last night I finally posted my second podcast, I Want To Kiss You All Over. I had been trying to put up another mix, King For A Day, for the last week, but some of the files I had weren't cooperating. I'll do some more tweaking and try again. This week's mix is as follows:

1. Walter Carlos -"Theme From Clockwork Orange" Because all mixes need a bombastic intro.
2. The Strip Kings -"Lightning Breed" I think these guys only put out three singles, of which I have one, and its pretty kick-ass.
3. The Nazz - "Open My Eyes" Todd Rundgren's old psych band. It's the heavily flanged chorus is really what hooks me here.
4. The Last - "I Don't Wanna Be In Love" The Last was an incredible anomaly of early L.A. punk scene - 60's-style punk rock with harmonies.
5. Lou Reed - "I Wanna Be Black" from Street Hassle. I used to think it took a lot to shock me, but I didn't see this coming. Not that Lou hasn't always been edgy, but still...
6. Country Teasers - "Black Change" The only logical course following Reed's musings.
7. The Intelligence - "I Am That Grey" from a split single with Popular Shapes.
8. Popular Shapes - "Here Come The Pancakes" from the Dirtnap Across The Northwest comp.
9. Martin Rev - "Baby Oh Baby" From the musician half of Suicide's first solo album.
10. Steve Fisk - "Demo of an Assist" Off the long out-of-print cassette, …'Til The Night Closes In. Features members of Steve's band, Pell Mell, and purportedly the voice of L. Ron Hubbard. Have the Scientologists prevented this song from its well-deserved re-release?
11. Takeshi Terauchi & The Bunnys - "Chikiri Bushi" Finding this track made my least favorite song on Steve Fisk's masterpiece, 448 Deathless Days, palatable.
12. Brain Eno & David Byrne - "Qu' Ran" from the original My Life In A Bush Of Ghosts LP. You will not find this track on any of the CD re-releases.
13. The Eggs - "Little Red Book" A random song from a random 60's compilation of recordings from McKenzie Studio in Columbus, OH.
14. XTC - "My Weapon" From Go2, featuring future former XTC member and Shriekback founder Barry Andrews on a rare lead vocal.
15. The Warlocks "Hey, The Dope Feels Good" I like it when stoner bands are at least honest.
16. The Residents - "Constantinople" I'm by no means a Residents fan, but this has always been a favorite of mine.
17. Japan -"Ghosts" I mentioned before my preference for the New Romantic band Japan over Duran Duran's derivative and more pop-friendly restyle of them. That preference was largely driven by this song, which I still find hauntingly beautiful. And no, that pun just happened. Really. Totally unintentional.

Snow Job

It's commonly believed that stories of Seattle's perpetual rain were fabricated to keep Californians out of our city. This ruse has clearly failed, so now we have employed a more powerful weather-related tactic:


I've never seen it snow quite this much in Seattle. My bus last night ended up getting stuck and I walked at least a half-mile to get home. We took Cooper out to see it, and he seemed pretty enthused, but I think it will take beaning someone with a snowball or sliding down a hill before he truly enjoys the snow. As an adult though, it's all about trying to save the plants from being crushed and shoveling. I'd rather have Cooper's perspective.