Hi, how ya doin'?

I guess it takes getting mentioned in someone's blog (which, by the way, is a first for me and I'm all atwitter) to motivate me to update my own.

This Sunday, Lisa, Cooper and I walked around Green Lake with Mona, Mike, and their son Nathan. Lisa met Mona through their mother's group. I met them before at a party thrown by one of the other group moms (Nathan was decked out in a sports coat, which on an infant is totally cute), but I really didn't have a chance to do more than exchange pleasantries. So yesterday was sort of the "official" first time out with them

I'm awkward when it comes to meeting people. I figure its an only child thing. I'm known to joke that it's because I dislike people, but in reality it's more likely that I'm afraid people will dislike me. As a result of this terminal neurosis, I find myself constantly evaluating my performance when going out with others for the first time.

Mona and Mike are both intelligent, friendly, and funny people. In fact, I know a lot about them (as a voyeur) from reading Mona's fantastic blog, hello insomnia. But when we hooked up yesterday I found myself critiquing pauses in the conversation (is it the lovely scenery preoccupying our thoughts, or am I so boring that I can contribute nothing to this discussion?), and discovered that I say, "that's awesome" waaaay too damn much. In fact, I hate that expression as much as the term "dude," both of which I started using ironically, but now have become regular parts of my vocabulary. I imagine I come off like as an old man trying to be hip and cool like the kids, twenty years ago. I'm also quite sure I said at least one thing that sounded insensitive or insulting, for which I'm sorry.

Freakish paranoia aside, I had a really good time and hope that we'll be able to connect again in a setting less distracting than a crowded lakeside trail. It's hard to negotiate two strollers and a conversation with four people when without walking into oncoming traffic or wandering into the bike lane and having a passive/ agressive jackass cyclist tell us to move over as he zips by. Those are the people, joking aside, that I actually, truly dislike.

Home Security?

Awhile ago Lisa entered some give-away and was informed last week that we won a free home security system. A specialist would come out and talk to us about the program. Now, I've always felt safe at this house, mainly because it's a nice neighborhood populated largely by retirees, so there is a sort of built-in homewatch. But, I felt safe at our last house too, and it was located next to a meth lab. After the second drive-by shooting, we decided it was time to pull up stakes and get the hell out. But that is a whole other tale.

So, Saturday a very pleasant English expat named Alex shows up at our door at the appointed time. He was the sort of guy I wish I was. Intelligent, humorous, well-traveled, and congenial as all get out. We spent an hour chatting about painting, real estate, his past careers and travels, and our upcoming trip to England. I'm not the most loquacious soul, so I eventually grew weary of the chit-chat and steered the conversation to their system.

As we discussed security, break-ins, and the common burglar, it dawned on me that I had not verified this guy's identity. Out of the blue comes a call about a prize we won in a contest we didn't remember, and next there's this guy in our home telling tales about his former career in commercial real estate. Why is this man, who looks like he is of retirement age, pushing home security systems? I realize I have no way to gracefully validate if this he is who he claims to be, or if he even works for this security firm of which I have never heard. And here we've talked about the weak spots in our house, an upcoming trip out of the country, where I work and what we do, and my paranoia meter spikes to 10.

As it turns out, it's highly unlikely this fellow was an aged Danny Ocean. I asked all the questions I needed to understand the program fully and soon he was out the door. As Lisa and I debriefed afterward and I informed her of my neurotic concerns, I noticed he'd left his cell phone behind (which, I'll admit, I checked to make sure it wasn't on and listening). He was long gone and called later to see if he could come pick it up the next day. Between this event and my delusions of an electronic conspiracy, I'm feeling just a little foolish. But I'll remember to be a little more cautious next time. Just in case.

Oh, and if you're an online prowler, we have a security system. Every door and window has a trip sensor on it, the perimeter of our property is armed with motion sensors, and we have heat-seeking automated machine guns that will open fire in five seconds if you can't provide the proper voice identification and passcode. So don't screw with us and our sole electronic possession, a 13" 1980 Magnavox TV. With three channels. And no remote.

Sick, Oh So Sick

Boy howdy did the family get whupped by the sick stick but good! The party started in the wee hours Saturday morning when I launched into an hourly purge cycle. Most of the heavy duty horrid stuff stopped before dawn and I ended up sleeping all day. I thought it was food poisoning at first, but it seemed too tenacious for that. Sunday was slightly better. The entire time I felt like I'd been beaten. My body was sore, and I was winded just standing up, let alone holding Cooper or doing anything constructive. By Monday things were getting back to normal, but virtually 72 hours after my initial attack, Lisa's started. I stayed home with her and Cooper Tuesday so she could sleep. While his body didn't eliminate everything from it as violently as ours, Cooper didn't miss out on the fun. We worried a little about dehydration after he deposited not one, not two, not three, but four gigantic loads of spit up all over my chest Tuesday night, but, like usual, he just smiled a big smile like he'd met a milestone. Which, I suppose, he had.

Birthday Bashed

It's time to find a babysitter. Lisa and I went out to a fabulous local steakhouse last night for her birthday, and we brought Cooper along too. Lisa and Cooper had been out all afternoon shopping and he really hadn't taken a nap. We thought that may be a good thing, because he'd be tired and maybe take a little snooze while we enjoyed our dinner. Long story short: he didn't. Atypically acting like a typical baby, Cooper started crying when we walked in the door, spent more time fussing than eating, and ultimately made it clear he was sick of his high chair right about the time our food arrived. Lisa ended up scarfing down what was probably a great filet mignon while I tried to calm our son down. I finally put him in his stroller and he fell asleep. We salvaged what was left of our meal and had a very nice flourless chocolate cake, but all in all, it wasn't really a night out as much as a work out. So, babysitters, we're taking applications.

Insult and Injury

Lisa, my wife, has had a rough month. She returned Sunday from several days of hospitalization, and while improved, she's still not 100% better. Yesterday she fell rushing to answer the phone and broke her nose.

OK, she didn't break it, but she thought she did. It bled, though, but it's just a little sore today. She was running to the phone because earlier she had called her doctor to set up the next step in treating her ailment, and she thought it was the clinic calling her back. It was, in fact, me calling to see if the clinic had called yet.

One day we'll look back at this and laugh.

Soggy Monday

Lisa came back from the hospital yesterday. The therapy there helped, but didn't put the problem into complete remission, so it's on to the next treatment. She won't have to go into the hospital for it, so we're happy for that. Her parents went home yesterday too, so she's keeping warm and dry at home with Cooper, while outside the rain continues to pour. It's unusually wet here in Seattle, so much so that many areas are flooding and car accidents have abounded. For a town so soggy, you'd think people would be able to handle the rain, but they can't. Truth told, the drivers in this town are so bad it should come as no surprise that they are flabbergasted by rainfall.

Finally posted pictures of Cooper's first Halloween. He wore his too-big-for-him bat costume. I also put together a big fence that goes around his play area so he can't start pulling himself across the room into danger. He can't crawl yet, but that doesn't seem to stop his curious nature.

Loves Me Them Hospitals

Outpatient treatment for Lisa's ailment wasn't going as well as her doc would have liked, so she was admitted to the hospital Tuesday. Fortunately, it looks like the treatment there is doing the trick and she's turned the corner. Playing with Cooper on her bed the other day, I realized it was the first time in a month I heard her really laugh. It was good. She may have to stay in there until Monday, which isn't any fun, but my Dad and her folks have come up to help us out.

We asked for a bassinet or something to put Cooper in while we were visiting, and the nurse ended up wheeling in this gigantic baby cage. It's about the size of small bed with a frame reaches up to the ceiling. You can slide the crib's locking barred walls up and down, and the mattress is at mid-riff level, so it's easy to take him in and out. He loves it, and it's good for us considering how squirmy he's been lately. The day he figures out how to crawl we are doomed.

So it struck me that I've spent more time in hospitals with this woman than anyone else (except my folks), and I've seen a lot of hospital time. Even though I have dangerously high cholesterol that has landed me in a heart attack and stoke prevention clinic, I consider myself to be relatively healthy. Until you see my track record:

• Jan. 1995- Dec. 1996: Hospitalized for ventricular tachycardia (v-tach). Had heart ablated to correct problem. That didn't work, so I'm on a med to take care of that.
• July 2002: Hospitalized after a car turned in front of Lisa and me on my scooter. Majorly messed up and in for a long time. Lisa was fine but got to watch me heal, which I think was worse. Compound knee fracture, reconstructive facial work, lost my sight in one eye and messed up my sight in the other. And the scooter was totaled ("sniff").
• A few months later, 2002: Went back in for a second knee surgery to remove all the extra bone that grew in around it (?). Had extremely annoying biker roommate. Good times.
• Sometime in 2003: Went to the emergency room with another v-tach. I was doing one of those herbal cleansing things and apparently messed my electrolytes up or something. Damn hippies.
  
• April, 2006: Cooper.

So, except for this April, none of it has been all that pleasant. But, I suppose folks don't think of hospitals as a party destination. Which is surprising, what with all those pills.

Where's Bobby?

My wife's recent and extensive illness, from which it looks like she is finally recovering, got me thinking about the last year. I came to the conclusion that I really could have done without it expect for two things: my son and my iPod. This of course assumes that (most of) the people in my life, Lisa, my family, and my friends, remain. But the rest? Eh, not so much.

It isn't that the last year has sucked. Entirely. My last year at work has, for reasons on which I needn't and shouldn't elaborate. That resulted in a year of frustration and confusion that affected how I felt about everything else, which, while not ruining it, has certainly dulled the year's shiny finish for me.

So Cooper and that iPod are really the only two new things I would miss if we hit rewind and started over. Heck, I could even do away with the iPod. I'd end up getting it anyway. Cooper, on the other hand, is the single most excited thing to happen to Lisa and I, and we wouldn't change a thing. But, Lisa was pregnant over a year ago, so I figure he's exempt too.

Why don't we just call a do-over? It worked on Dallas, didn't it? I'll just keep opening the shower door, waiting to see if things changed back to the way they were. Oh well, I guess I could always start looking forward to tomorrow.

Well, Welcome!

Welcome to the new home of Cooper, Lisa, and Branan. I started a website for us at lisa-branan.com when Lisa got pregnant with our soon-to-be son, Cooper. I was sort of blogging, after a fashion, but gave up the ghost in February. That's lame. We've been busy with Cooper since April and the former site never got updated. Well, I should change that this week, basically announcing this site and redirecting our URL. Sure...

So, I will try to keep this updated. With what? Lord knows.